Thank you 2014!

Another year has passed by quickly. And for some, 2014 may just be another year, but I call it the beginning of my forever.

Why? Well, I became a wife and a mother in the same year.

The Wedding

Eric and I got married last June 27, 2014. We've been together for a year and a half. For some it might not be long enough, but for us it was more than enough. Sure it wasn't easy. Nothing is. All it took was to be certain that we want to spend the rest of our lives together and rest just fell into place.

The wedding preparation was nerve-wrecking! We were both hands on with everything! From the necessary documents needed, entourage, venue, and all other things! We were thankful some of our family extended their help. It was a good thing our work (and employer) understood us. We were able to have a decent and solemn wedding in 2-months time.

Erin Valentine

The highlight of my 2014 was the day I became a mother. I gave birth to a healthy and beautiful 5.11-pound baby girl we named Erin Valentine. She’s the most precious blessing that we received from God. Erin is such a good girl. Always has been, from womb up until she was born. She never gave me the sick feeling or anything while I was having her. It only took an hour of active labor and then I give birth to her. Truly an angel.

image taken from Google

While major, amazing changes in my life happened all in 2014, there are also some difficulties. The biggest was when I have to suffer the consequence of something I did not do. (And never would do) I’d rather not go into details because number one, it’s complicated and number two, it wouldn't change anything. As they say, “Everything happens for a reason.” I may not have fully understood the reason/s was/were but in time I sure will.

I have so much in my mind right now that I want to accomplish this year. Resurrecting this blog is one of them because for 16 months I haven’t had any posts. So for this year I will do my best to regularly write. And maybe do other things, crafting like the ones on Etsy’s perhaps, do a lot of baby stuffs. I am actually working on something for my baby. Since I was not able to document my pregnancy, I surely will do for Erin.

I am so ready to leave all the negative behind. I only have room for positive things in the coming year 2015. With a new year comes a new hope of beginning something we've always wanted to begin. New opportunities to make ourselves better, bolder and brighter!  Cheerio!

i'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.

 i make mistakes, i am out of control and at times hard to handle. 

but if you can't handle me at my worst,

then  you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

-Marilyn Monroe-

the lying game: book vs tv show

i came across this tv series a couple of weeks ago. gosh! i am so outdated. well, having read the book of the same name, the lying game series, i was really curious how the writers and producers of the show go about it.

 book version:

the story opens up to sutton mercer being in a place she's not familiar with. and to her surprise, seeing a dead ringer she never knew existed, her twin, emma paxton. the catch there is that no one can see or hear her. sutton thought she must be dead but she can't remember anything. 

emma, on the other hand, learned about sutton through her foster brother, travis. emma's foster brother was showing her a video of a girl, who looked exactly like her, being strangled to death. she searched about the girl in the video. emma thought she reached sutton through a message in facebook asking her to come to tuczon, arizona to meet with her long lost twin sister but it wasn't sutton. someone else set it up. and the quest for finding the truth begun.. (btw, there are four books for this series. the lying game, two truths and a lie, never have i ever, hide and seek and book five up for release, cross my heart, hope to die.)

in my opinion, the book has a lot of boring moments. there were numerous times that i thought i was so ready to give up on reading it. apparently, the author of the book, sara shepard was just trying to stretch or lengthen the story. the reason i said this was because there were a lot of unnecessary circumstances, the kind one may leave out. though i have to say shapard is good at keeping things hanging  at the end of every book. the type that will make you go read the next one. at least that was what i felt.

sutton and emmaplayed by alexandra chando

tv version:

the tv version on the other hand was about sutton mercer and emma becker's quest on finding their birth mother. it was indicated that they learned about each other for three months already. they communicated through video chat, sutton filling in emma on what she know about their parents. sutton doesn't buy what her adoptive parents, ted and kristin, told her. emma got in trouble with her foster parent, clarice and foster brother, travis so she ran away from las vegas to arizona, to sutton. when emma arrived in arizona, sutton suggested right then and there for emma to take her place so she can go search for their parents. emma didn't have time to argue so she just go with the flow. and so the lying begun..

it was a whole new different story. well, ok, i take it back.  it wasn't that different, there were just some information and character the tv left out. first, the tv series was about both sutton and emma and their journey on finding who their birth parents are. on tv, it was sutton's idea to switch their lives. and of course, to my very surprise, ethan and thayer switched personalities as in literally! the book mentioned thayer being mads (one of sutton's close friend) messed up brother with records in and out of prison and  then gone awol. ethan on the other hand was the geeky guy and the only one who knew it was emma living sutton's life. on tv it was the other way around. though thayer is still mads' brother, he was the geeky guy who just wants to live his life out of his father's view . he did went awol but just to pursue his dream of being the next big thing on computers through the app he was working on. while ethan, was the one who's been in and out of prison. ugh!

i can't expect for the writers and producers to follow everything exactly as it was written in the book. hey, they knew better! still, it was a great season one for the lying game. it will leave you craving for the next episode. it'll be a long wait until january, premiere of season two. i'm pretty excited on what will happen to emma and thayer!

rockin' the 90s way.

it's saturday!
people who love to go out, drink, go to parties and stay up all night on a weekend are probably making the most out of the night as of this moment. me, on the other hand, is chillin' here in my room as always. i don't know but for some reason, i was and probably will never be a party-goer or a drinker. i'd rather stay in than stay out.

despite being indoors, i could say i'm having a cool saturday night tonite. why? because i am listening to no other than the best rock songs of the '90s!

i totally love the '90s! if i could turn back time, i would definitely choose that time. for me it was a decade of mind-blowing, head-banging, music! i turned 24 last june and was born on 1988 so if you do the math, i was just in my elementary years at that time but i practically grew up listening to all those cool songs. even now, i still listen to them when i can, just like now. :)

rock/alternative type of music was dominant during that time. it has this right blend of all the music instruments used that are pleasing to the ears. noisy but a feel good noise. the type that will make you bang your head while doing the rock and roll sign with your hands. a whole bunch of rock bands rocking you out!

here are some of them:

two princes by spin doctors

high and dry by radiohead

no rain by blind melon

the freshmen by the verve pipe

soul to squeeze by red hot chili peppers

other songs from the album that i listened to while making this post. i'll just mention some for they are way too many:

u2- one

nirvana- all apologies

nirvana- lithium

lit- miserable

nirvana- smells like teen spirit

radiohead- creep

metallica- nothing else matters

third eye blind- semi-charmed life

r.e.m.- everybody hurts

soul asylum- runaway train

collective soul- shine

the offspring- self esteem

nirvana- come as you are

collective soul- december

green day- good riddance

lit- my own worst enemy

goo goo dolls- iris

matchbox20- bent

gin blossoms- hey jealousy

now tell me, who would ever forget those rockin' legends? i believe some of the songs are still being played on the radio and some of the bands are still active in the music industry. that's a good thing for they are way too amazing and too cool to forget!

thank you 90s! :)

it's not you, it's me.

ever had a fight or a conflict with someone where you feel you're right and the other person was wrong? you keep asking yourself 'why can't this person get my point?'.

if you ask me, i've been in that situation many times already. it's maddening to know if someone doesn't get what you're trying to point out. makes you think how dumb of the that person to not know or not get.

all of us want to be right, right? but the thing there is, who are we to judge who's right and who's wrong?

a dramatic and painful situation made me realize something. that maybe, it's not them, it's us.

i read a line somewhere that says, "if you don't look forward to your mondays, change your work. if your weekends are boring you, change your friends." but i say "how about you change your self?" boils down to one word. attitude.

now going back to the question, 'why can't this person get my point?' before asking that, maybe we need to ask first, 'am i making sense?', 'did i make it clear enough for the other person to understand?'. once we have covered what we can answer, then and only then we can go find the answer from another person.

people doesn't stray for no good reason. it might be that we are the ones pushing them away, or perhaps we are trying to make them the monster that they're not.

this one's very similar to jfk's famous quote but this one's in my own words though.

"stop asking what other people can offer you. you should ask yourself what you can offer to other people. if they can't make you laugh, then maybe you can make them."

fading..

i don't want to just drive away. i want to fade away, for good. 

beginning of something new.

every one of us made bad decisions once in our lives. too bad i made a lot. oh well.

i've been pondering on what i have been doing with my life. the choices that i made or should have made. the opportunities i have taken and those i missed. it's heart-breaking. i should have done this, i should have chose that, i would have been like that. the list never ends. 

well, those are all in the past now. if i keep making bad decisions and let opportunities slip over and over again then chances are they will never come back. at the end of the day, it is really up to me. (took me awhile to realize that!)

ms.amsterdam.blogspot.com was my first ever blog. it consist of write ups from my travelling experiences, friends and all things i thought was worth writing. deleting it was one of the biggest mistake i've made. wasn't really thinking when i did it. wasn't thinking straight and just let my emotions take over.

now i have decided to rewrite my stories from my defunct blog here in my new crib. still need to check for copies those but i'll figure it out. i'm planning to at least revive my travel stories. a foreign blogger once told me i shouldn't quit and just continue writing. and i will do just that.

 be happy

something to ponder on...

check be happy on facebook for more inspirational quotes. :)

Oplan Amsterdam

hail the queen of procrastination, princess of dullness and bearer of negativity!

those words accurately describes me, but you know what? it gets old. who wants to be that miserable? misery does loves company but only to those who are willing.

i have been in a dark place for a long time now. growing up for me was tough so my defense was to hide myself. built a very sturdy wall around me and stayed in the dark for years. the sad thing there was it locked me up and i can't seem to find my way out. 

in an attempt to turn my life around, i will no longer be known with those words above. 

well yes, i was the queen of procrastination. comes in handy when you need to wake up early in the morning, you know. delay for a few minutes, until eventually end up getting late. i don't want to be the queen anymore. i wanna be more disciplined and responsible.

being dull was safe for me, at least. darker colors was my favorite. probably because i stayed in the dark for too long. but now, no more. it's a wonderful world, you and me should be enjoying all its colors. i wanna be alive, vibrant and bold.

most importantly, i don't want to be the bearer of negativity anymore. negative vibes can drown all of your energy and suck you into a black hole of nothingness. positivity on the other hand can do wonders. to you and those around you. i shall say good bye to negativity,  i will definitely not miss you.

photo from be happy

 my boyfriend keeps on telling me i have such high hopes and dreams yet i don't work towards attaining it. i complain yet i don't change. he's right but this time i want to prove him wrong. i want to show him i a changed person now. and most importantly, i want to do this for my self. to be better, happier me. 


"but if i die tonite, at least i could say i did what i wanted to do. tell me how about you?"

from the song four minutes by madonna featuring justin timberlake

maroon 5: overly exposed

photo from maroon5.com

they so are, but in a great way.

maroon 5 is back with their fourth studio album overexposed. i haven't listened to all of the songs in the album yet, but it only took an intro from the first song of this new album and i'm crazy for them. again.

everybody might be talking about the album's single payphone, but i'd rather talk about the second single on the album. as i've mentioned, this one got me my by the intro. it's levine, i mean divine! i'm talking about this cool, reggae-like song called one more night.  the song talks about a seemingly terminal relationship, yet the person involved doesn't have the strength to end things just yet because of, i don't know, love maybe? the song is definitely something new from maroon 5 in terms of beat, tempo, tone and of course the voice were all crisp and smooth. another mood-altering song.

i've always admired how maroon 5 can pull off songs about heartbreaks and relationships without sounding cheesy. they have their own unique way of expressing deep feelings and emotions. every song in every album they've recorded tells about a story of someone at some point in their lives. it's amazing that their music has this effect on my mood that when i hear them, i wanted to get on my feet and move my body. even if it may not be like a jagger.

here's the video. hope you'll enjoy it as much as i did. :)

one more night

you and i go hard at each other like we're going to war

you and i go rough we keep throwin' things and slammin' the door

you and i get so damn dysfunctional we stuck keepin' score

you and i get sick  yeah i know that we can't do this no more

(ehhh)

but baby there you go again, there you go again makin' me love you

yeah i stopped usin' my head, usin' my head let it all go

got you stuck on my body, on my body like a tattoo

and now i'm feelin' stupid, feelin' stupid crawlin' back to you

so i cross my heart and i hope to die

that i'll only stay with you one more night

and i know i said it a million times

but i'll only stay with you one more night

try to tell you no but my body keeps on telling you yes

try to tell you stop but your lipstick got me so out of breath

i'll be wakin' up in the mornin' probably hatin' myself

and i'll be wakin' up feelin' satisfied but guilty as hell

yeah baby give me one more night

yeah baby give me one more night

yeah baby give me one more night

yeah baby give me one more night